![]() In these cases, do whatever you can to remove your child to a place of safety or, if that’s not possible, just try to keep people away as much as you can. However, it’s not always possible to leave a child alone to calm themselves, either because the location is not safe or there are other people around who could get hurt. Often just backing away and giving him space is enough to avoid a complete meltdown. The best thing to do when a child has a meltdown is to leave him to calm down, because the more people try to help, the more out of control and angry he is likely to get. Try changing the subject completely, agreeing with the child, having a tantrum of your own (not recommended in the supermarket) or throwing something completely random into the conversation. When a child gets into a loop of disruptive or defiant behaviour, sometimes all it takes is something to distract them momentarily because that gives their brain the chance to switch from one pattern to another. When your child misbehaves, always make it clear that it is the behaviour you are angry or disappointed about, not the child. Be specific with your praise – don’t just say “Well done” or “That was good” point out exactly what it was that went well. Praise your child for everything that goes right, however small. Apart from helping children’s self-esteem, it shows them the difference between good and bad behaviour, helps to set boundaries and rules and reinforces the behaviours that you do want to see. If you ignore things like talking in a silly voice, walking in circles and banging toys together, you may find that your child will lose interest and stop more quickly. Many ADHD behaviours are annoying more than anything else and the best way to deal with them is often to ignore them completely. Somehow, being able to see the starting total and watch it decrease seems to be more effective than trying to add to a chart. At the end of the day or week convert any objects left into pocket money or small treats. Fill a jar with objects – we used glass beads but they could be anything really – and every time your child misbehaves or breaks the rules take an object out of the jar. If you find that traditional sticker-type reward charts don’t work with your child, try the reverse method. A child with ADHD will not remember what they did wrong if the punishment doesn’t happen till later, or the next day. If you give consequences for bad behaviour then make sure you are prepared to enforce them – and enforce them quickly. You might find it useful to list the unacceptable behaviours on a poster on the wall. Don’t punish a behaviour one day and let it go the next, as your child will just become confused. Set the rules, make sure your child knows what kind of behaviour is and isn’t acceptable and be consistent. You need to be as consistent as possible in managing your child’s behaviour. Talk your child through it so he understands what will happen and when, and then stick to it as far as possible. ![]() Make a poster that outlines your daily routine: breakfast, getting washed and dressed, playtime, dinner time, bath time and so on. In my experience, kids with ADHD don’t cope well with change and are at their best when they know what to expect, so having set times for daily activities is essential. ![]() RoutineĪ firm routine is one of the most important things you can put in place to help your child. The following are some of the techniques we have found useful when dealing with the challenging behaviours we lived with every day. What we needed was a range of tools that would encourage his positive side and manage his more unwelcome behaviours. Yet when he was calm he was happy, caring, funny and a pleasure to be with. He could be aggressive and violent, lashing out at anyone or anything in his path. He threw tantrums of epic proportions when he couldn’t get his own way or was tired or frustrated. He found it impossible to focus or concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time – unless it was on his games console. His behaviour was incredibly challenging at times. ![]() My son Daniel was diagnosed with ADHD when he was six, following a permanent exclusion from primary school. Parenting a child with ADHD: top tips for coping with challenging behaviourĬoping with a child who has any special need that impairs his behaviour can be stressful, emotional and hard work. ![]()
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